


To dream of desire

by rubihowl



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: BDSM, Dom Solas (Dragon Age), F/M, I don't know how to tag things really tbh I'm sorry, NSFW, Orgasm Delay/Denial, POV Third Person Limited, Smut, Solavellan, and some relationship angst, from Solas' POV, mild to moderate bdsm depending on your perspective, post-Crestwood, sexually explicit, some kinky stuff here, takes place post-breakup, with minor plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:29:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27565300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubihowl/pseuds/rubihowl
Summary: He prayed his skin was not too flushed as he opened the door.She stepped into his chamber, with its low, guttering lantern light, and his heart nearly stopped.[Inquisitor Orari Lavellan has a problem only Solas can solve... in bed.Nsfw, adult content.]
Relationships: Female Lavellan/Solas
Comments: 5
Kudos: 49





	To dream of desire

**Author's Note:**

> Most of the Elvish is translated within the piece, but a few phrases may not be translated every time:
> 
> "ma vhenan’ara" means "my heart's desire."  
> "ma lath" or "emma lath" means "my love."  
> "emma sa'lath" means "my only love."  
> "Ma serannas" means "my thanks/thank you."  
> And of course, "Ar lath ma," means "I love you."
> 
> Enjoy!

_She was beautiful, peerless, and it was his delight to please her, tantalize her, taste her until she—_

Solas came awake, shaking himself out of the dream. His vhenan haunted him even in his resting hours, the mere memory of her leaving him rock hard and aching.

He shouldn’t, he knew, even as his fingers curved around his cock. It was wrong to pleasure himself to the thought of her, all the more now that he had broken her heart.

Yet every time he thought _I shouldn’t,_ his hand pumped a little faster, a little harder.

His balls had just begun to tighten when he heard a quiet rapping sound.

He froze. A knock? Who was knocking on his door so late at night?

“Solas?” Her voice issued through the door.

_Orari?_

“Vhen—Inquisitor?” He called back, uncertain.

“Solas, please, I-I need your help.”

He sprung out of bed, haphazardly pulling his breeches on. “A moment,” he replied, wrestling his cock behind his waistband. It would have to do.

He prayed his skin was not too flushed as he opened the door.

She stepped into his chamber, with its low, guttering lantern light, and his heart nearly stopped.

She stood before him in a thin silk robe, one he’d chosen for her. Gold, to match her eyes.

Very thin silk, as her hardened nipples were readily visible through the fabric, pressed against her heavy curves by her folded arms.

She’d not been in any state of undress near him since he’d ended things, not even her linen sleepwear at camp. Why was she…?

She pulled her eyes up from where they’d been raking over his bare chest to meet his gaze.

“Solas, I have a-a problem.”

It was not like her to stutter.

“What can I do for you, Inquisitor?”

“I’m… here because you’re my expert on the Fade.”

“All right.” Curious that she’d feel the need to preface that way. Why was she so flushed?

“I think I’m afflicted with something. I-I was dreaming, in the Fade, and I thought it was just a dream. I realized too late it was a demon, and when I woke up, the… the feeling of the dream stayed with me.”

“And this is an affliction?” He asked.

“I… the demon reached into my pants and… pleasured me.” She flushed even further.

“And you allowed it to?” It was unlike her to be careless.

“I thought it was a normal dream, at first,” she said defensively.

“Are you— do your dreams often—”

“The demon looked like you,” the words came out in a rush, “and I dream of you so often that I—”

She cut herself off and looked away, embarrassed.

Even now she dreamt of him. And he of her.

“And when I realized it was a desire demon, and not a normal dream, I woke myself, but the… arousal, remained.” She bit her lip.

He swallowed. He had a sinking feeling his own lascivious dream had summoned the base desire demon to her, without his conscious intention, which meant that—

“I tried to… relieve, the feeling myself, but…” She met his eyes again. “I came, but a second later it was even worse. So I tried again, same thing. And I…” Her eyes closed and she turned her head. “I made myself come three more times on the way here.”

He froze. “On Skyhold’s grounds? Where anyone could have seen you?”

She nodded. “I tried to find discreet places, but… yes. And each time it just got worse.”

Her legs rubbed together, trying to give her clit the pressure it sought. He swallowed.

“You allowed the desire demon to touch you, and in so doing, allowed it to infuse you with its magic. The effect will wear off in a few days,” he replied honestly.

“A few days?!” Her eyes snapped to him.

“Possibly a week,” he confirmed.

“I can’t be walking around like this for a _week!”_ Her hands gripped the sides of her arms, making her cleavage all the more present in the opening of her robe. Solas held his breath to keep it slow.

“I’ll be useless,” she continued, ranting. “I’ll have to lock myself in my chamber, wasting days just—”

She flushed.

“Just?”

“Just touching myself and saying your…” she ground her teeth, her arms shifting. “Fen’Harel, I’m so fucking—”

She cut off her words.

“Vhenan, do you know that you are…?” He asked.

She looked down, realizing her hand was in her little silk smalls, rubbing her clit.

“Dread Wolf take me,” she cursed, pulling her hand away and holding both her hands away from her body.

Her robe opened without her arms to keep it shut, leaving her collarbone, the inner curves of her breasts, and her navel visible, a tantalizing strip of skin. Solas felt his cock pulse against his breeches.

“There is another, more immediate solution,” he heard himself say.

She met his eyes. “Please.”

_Don’t say it._

“You would have to achieve climax with the subject of your desire, thereby completing the dream.”

She blinked. “I’d… have to have you make me come.”

Wrong, wrong, it was wrong. His ears were ringing.

But it was also true.

“Yes,” he confirmed.

She looked away, conflicted. He’d rejected her, left her alone amongst ruins from Elvhenan after telling her he could give her nothing further.

To have to ask someone who had refused her affection to touch her so intimately… in her position, he wondered if he wouldn’t lock himself in his chamber and wait for it to pass.

Finally, she took a deep breath and nodded. “All… all right.” She met his eyes. “Solas, would you please…?”

He cleared his throat. “Of course,” he agreed, stepping forward.

They had barely made any contact at all since the glade. She shivered as he wrapped an arm around her waist.

“You should hold onto me,” he advised quietly. “When you come, you tend to—”

“Yes, you’re right,” she said. Her hands gripped his shoulders, and she turned her face into his neck.

“Please,” she whispered. “I’m so…”

“Yes,” he whispered back, sliding his hand into her smalls.

With one smooth gesture he found her clit, already slick and hot with wanting. She let out a shaky breath as he began to move against it, the pads of his fingers gentle but firm.

She made a little whimper into his neck, and he set his jaw as his cock throbbed.

He was doing this to relieve her, he reminded himself. That he wanted her like a dying man in the desert sought water was of no consequence.

He would relieve himself after she left.

And so he kept his movements rhythmic, simple. He moved exactly how he knew, from long familiarity and practice, would make her come fastest. He gave absolutely no thought to the heat curling inside her at his touch, to the tingling ripples spreading through her body as he stroked her in the rhythm she liked best.

No thought at all.

Her breath came hot and fast on his neck, her body shaking all over.

“Solas,” she breathed. _“Solas!”_

Her breath hitched, and her body tensed, his fingers continuing their rhythm until she stopped moving entirely.

“Thank you,” she murmured. “That was—”

She tensed against him.

“What is it?”

“It-it didn’t work,” she panted. “I’m still—”

She rocked against him, rubbing her clit on his hand, and whimpered against his neck. He closed his eyes, seeking composure.

“Was this not the content of your dream?” He asked.

“In-in the dream you were…” her voice dropped to a whisper. “Fingering me.”

“Ah,” he said, working to keep his voice steady. “Then I will try again.”

“Yes,” she murmured.

He slid his hand lower, and she agreeably pushed her legs apart, allowing him between them. He parted her folds gently, and bit his lip to suppress a groan as he found the lips of her cunt drenched. He positioned the heel of his hand to apply pressure to her clit, and pushed one dexterous finger inside her. She gasped, squeezing around him.

She was always so tight.

“Please,” she whispered, her lips moving against his neck.

“I will take care of you,” he promised.

And he would. He was doing it for her, and not for himself.

Yet as his fingers began to move faster, caressing inside her, her body shaking against him in response… it became harder to remember that.

Perhaps he took his time more than he should have. Perhaps he wanted her anticipation to last, for her orgasm to blind her; for her to remember exactly how good he could make her feel.

The heat in his breeches pressed him to stroke her faster, then slower, then faster again, her legs quivering until only his arm around her waist and her spasming grip on his shoulders held her upright.

Just like the very first time he’d made her come, he recalled with fondness.

She began panting as her body started rocking against him, unable to stop her hips from moving as he slid a second finger inside her.

“Solas,” she moaned into his neck, her voice thick. “ _Fen’Harel,_ Solas, yes, _yes.”_

His cock pulsed in time with his strokes. By the void, he loved when she used both his names.

He recognized the sequence of whines and moans she was making, her lips and teeth reflexively pinching at his neck as she knew he liked. She was close. All he had to do was—

His fingers curled inside her and stroked, the heel of his palm pressed firmly against her clit, shaking at the wrist.

“Solas!” she cried out. Her body convulsed as she came on his hand, squeezing his fingers, her wetness running down his knuckles. Her fingertips pressed into his shoulders with desperation, and he took an illicit pleasure in the intensity of her shaking, his cock hot and full, anticipation pulsating behind his testes. Her moans were quiet but long, muffled against his skin, and he guiltily enjoyed them, sighing her name into her hair, too quiet to hear.

_“Orari.”_

After a time her shuddering finally ceased, and, having found her balance, she relaxed against him.

“By the Dread Wolf, why do you always feel so _good?”_ she whispered.

He closed his eyes, unwilling to give voice to his response, and withdrew his hand. She sighed at its absence.

He took a deep breath. “Do you feel better?”

“Yes, I—” she quivered against him, splaying one hand on his chest. “No, how—?”

Her fingertips dug into him as he tilted his head back, summoning his self-discipline. If he had to make her come again, he was going to lose all control and bury himself inside her until they both forgot why she was here in the first place.

“Ma vhenan, please think. Was there any other element to your dream that you’ve not told me?”

She pressed her forehead against his shoulder. “Yes,” she said quietly.

“What is it?”

“I don’t want to say,” she whispered.

“I understand,” he murmured. “It is personal. However, unless you intend for me to pleasure you all night, I’m afraid we cannot alleviate your need without the missing piece.”

Her cheek lay flat against his shoulder as she murmured her response. “In the dream, you were… being dominating.”

“Ah,” he replied. “Vhenan, such desires are nothing to be ashamed of—”

“I’m not ashamed of them,” she replied. “We played out many fantasies with either of us in many roles many times when we were together, and I found no shame in any of them.”

“As I thought, and nor I. But then why—”

“Because you don’t want me,” she whispered, and a warm wetness found Solas’ shoulder. “When I’m submitting, I take great joy in giving myself to you in every way I can. But you don’t want me to, so how can I—”

He held her close, one hand cradling her head against him. “It was not, will never be, a lack of desire, Vhenan.”

“It’s humiliating,” she continued, leaning into him, “to think that I’m still so willing to give you that gift, that trust, when you’ve shut me out. Why do I still want to give myself to you, when you don’t care for me?”

Is that what she thought?

“I did not end our relationship for a lack of caring, ma vhenan’ara. It — everything will be made clear, after this is over. But it is not that I do not want you, or that I do not care.”

She pulled her head back and met his gaze, her cheeks flushed with desire, her eyes rimmed in red, tears at their corners. “Then how do you feel about me, Solas?”

His brows drew together in tenderness and pain, and he spoke the truth. _“Ar lath ma, Vhenan. Ar emma sa’lath.”_

_I love you, my heart. You are my only love._

Her eyes rested on his mouth, and her lips followed, pressing against his own with an ardor so sweet Solas felt it would kill him.

And when she pulled back again, she inclined her head. “I love you so damn much, Solas. I have chosen you. I will always choose you.”

Her face, now clear of vallaslin, was marked by him with its absence, his hands having freed her in the language of their people. She would always be free, and he was grateful to have given her that gift. There was so much he could not give her.

He put his hand to her face. “I know I am not worthy of you; I cannot give you what I wish to. But let me help you with this, tonight. This I can give you with nothing held back, nothing forgotten, and nothing denied, until you know beyond a doubt my feelings.” His thumb stroked her cheek. “My mistakes made have been many, but falling in love with you was not among them.”

Her body trembled, leaning against him, and he realized her robe had fallen back, leaving her skin pressed against his own. “Then give it to me, Solas, and I’ll hold it as a balm in my heart when you’re distant again in the morning.”

He wanted to tell her that there would be no distance; that afterward he would follow her to her chamber and hold her as she slept that night, and every night. He would taste her to climax every morning, and fulfill her every desire in perpetuity. They would defeat Corypheus and reclaim the orb and give her the longevity that was her birthright, and for eternity he would love her with all the ferocity of his ancient rebel’s heart.

But he was tired of telling her lies.

Instead he pressed a hand to the side of her face, the evidence of her pleasure now smeared across her cheek, and pressed his lips against hers with all the passion he’d suppressed. He could feel the wet tracks of her tears as she returned the kiss, throwing her arms around his neck and seeking his tongue with her own. The hot desire coiling inside him began to lance through his every vein, his hips drawn toward her, and with considerable effort he pulled himself back from the kiss.

“Vhenan, we need a signal for if you wish to stop,” he whispered, his breathing harsh.

“The same as before,” she murmured against his lips. _“Ar ma aneth’ara.”_

_You are my safe place._

How it enraptured him to hear those old words in her voice; how it ground his heart to dust inside him to know they would not always be true.

But tonight they would be.

“Then I will free you of this.”

“Yes, ma vhenan,” she breathed, her eyes closed. _“Sathan.”_

_Please._

Nearly shaking with anticipation, he slid his hand back down, beneath her smalls, slowly stroking her wet lips. Her breath caught, and she tilted her hips towards him, pressing herself into his hand.

He looked about his room momentarily, and then back to her, sheepish. “I’m afraid this room has limited implements for this type of play.”

She leaned her head to the side, brushing her nose with his. She whispered against his lips. “I trust you to be creative.”

He nodded, grinding his teeth against the fire her words lit inside him, lest his imagination run away with him. There was nothing he would not do for her, to her, if she asked for it in desire. And by the void, the creativity in the millennia of fantasies he could inflict on her could bring her pleasures she had never conceived of. He had pictured her in every scenario his cunning mind could invent, and left her wrung out and sated in every one of them.

But he had a purpose, a singular purpose, and he would fulfill it, first and foremost.

He planted a gentle kiss on her lips, her forehead, the tip of her ear. She shivered a little, and he lowered his lips to whisper to her, giving reign to the thoughts he’d suppressed since she had arrived.

“Then ma vhenan, first you must admit that you did not come here for my expertise on the Fade.”

She hesitated only a moment. “Of course I did.”

“I may have had the answer you sought, but you came here for the same reason that you were dreaming of me to begin with.” He let his lips touch the lobe of her ear. “You want what only I can give you.”

He pressed his fingers inside her once more, and she rocked against him with a jolt, digging her fingers into his shoulders painfully.

“I— that’s not—”

“You’ve realized, of course, that if I do not make you come in _exactly_ the way your dream would have ended, then I can keep you like this indefinitely,” he continued. Hot need lanced through him at her twitching against him, at her failure to suppress a whimper.

“I can make you come, over and over, as many times as I wish,” he continued, his own wanting expanding in his chest as he gave it voice. “You think you would be alone in your chamber for those days, but you are wrong. I would be there, to lick you and stroke you and fuck you to another shuddering climax, and another, with each growing more desperate until you’re writhing with a desire only I can fulfill for you.”

He curled his fingers inside her aggressively, a particular pain he recalled she enjoyed. She gasped and moaned silently, her breath hot on his neck, pressing herself forward into his arm.

“I would make you beg me to do it,” he hissed, “over and over, until you’ve forgotten whether it is the magic driving you or the truth of your own desire.” He gently nipped the side of her ear, and she shivered. “Of course, we both know which it truly is, do we not? Why else would you be so careless as to allow a demon to stroke inside your cunt just because it looked like me?”

 _“Yes,”_ she whispered, “I want—”

A needy sound escaped her, and he pumped his fingers inside her roughly in response. She let out a little moan, one hand fisting on his chest, her breaths sounding higher and higher, her legs beginning to tremble.

“No, Solas, don’t—”

“Don’t make you come?” he asked, amused.

“Yes," she admitted, her eyes closed. "I-I don’t want you to stop—”

“Oh Vhenan, I will not stop. Not for a long time.” He pressed hard against the wall inside her, and she spasmed around him, shuddering. “But I do not think this is how your dream would have ended, do you? I think you have had this dream before, and you know how it ends.”

“I—”

A burning curiosity sprung up inside him, demanding gratification.

“Tell me, Vhenan. Tell me what you dream when you dream of me.”

“I cling to you as you come inside me,” she whispered. “I hold you close, and I…” She hesitated. “I come again from feeling you fill me.”

He kissed the top of her head. “Then that is precisely what I will not give you, until I have decided you’ve earned it.”

She let out a ragged whimper as his hand withdrew from her, her breathing unsteady. He dragged his wet finger over her lips as he spoke.

“Do you want this, my Orari?”

She nodded, shaking and wordless.

“Say it,” he insisted.

“Yes,” she murmured against his fingers, and heat flared inside him, triumphant. “I want this. I want _you.”_

“Then you must obey me. There are rules, Vhenan. Two, today.”

She nodded, rapt, her eyes watching his mouth.

“One, you are not allowed to come unless I give you permission,” he traced her lips, full and inviting. “Break this rule, and you will be punished.”

She shifted, almost squirming. Satisfaction pulsed in his groin at the twisting of her hips. She had always enjoyed that particular rule.

And he had always enjoyed carrying it out.

“Two, do as I say without question.”

She nodded again, gently pressing a kiss to his fingertips.

“Very good.” He stepped back, crossing his arms behind his back. “Now take off your robe and deposit it on the floor.”

She moved automatically, letting it fall off her shoulders to the floor behind her.

His pulse set to thrumming at the sight of her, the body he fantasized about every night exposed and aroused before him, the hard peaks of her breasts begging for attention. There she was, in all her glory, and every quality that he loved about her was contained there in her shape, her posture, the curves his eyes always lingered on.

Solas’ jaw set, wondering if he’d made a mistake. How was he going to maintain focus of any kind with her bare silhouette in front of him?

Though, judging by the way her eyes wandered over him, perhaps her thoughts were not dissimilar.

Ordinarily, he would spend more time arousing her, teasing her, demanding she tantalize herself… but her smalls were soaked through, the cleft between her legs almost visible through the thin silk.

And she had already climaxed twice in this room alone.

He settled for taking her face in his hands and kissing her, as he was always wont to do, as he caught himself imagining any time they were in a room together. Her lips were warm and sweet, and when she played this role she was always pliant in his hands, her mouth yielding to him with the rest of her.

He traced lines from her face down her neck to her sensitive breasts, his cock delighted at the degree of her curves. Goosebumps raised on her flesh in the wake of his touch. He toyed with the tips of her breasts before pinching to cause a gasp against his lips, pleased that she responded to his touch as strongly as ever.

He began to kiss his way down her body, inch by inch, until he knelt before her, ripping down her smalls with no prelude and no hesitation. He planted a kiss next to her groin and she shivered, her breath leaving her in a rush. She was so sensitive, everywhere, and for a moment he was nearly overwhelmed with possibility.

She stepped out of her smalls easily, and he stood, tucking them in his mouth momentarily as he grabbed her by her shoulders and spun her around.

The taste of her was potent, evoking a thousand sense memories he’d been avoiding for weeks, his cock pulsing to recall them, a groan starting in his throat.

As the anticipation growing inside him rapidly multiplied, he took her arms and placed them together behind her back with more roughness than he’d intended. She held them in place after he removed his hands, thankfully cooperative. Taking the offending smalls in both hands, he ripped them into a single long, damp strip, and wound them around her wrists, tying them in place with a single, cunning knot. She let out a surprised little gasp and he tightened it, and found his breeches tightening in tandem.

Turning her back around, he felt his urgency blazing in his gaze, but her eyes were only curious, excited.

Trusting.

He yearned to deserve that look. He took a deep breath, collecting himself. Slow. He would start slow.

He pushed gently on the top of her head, and she went to her knees as she was bid. Her eyes clung to the strained fabric of his breeches, and then looked up at him, pleading… and adoring. A wave of heat rolled through him, and his heart felt as though it were pulled in twain. She loved him still.

He ran his hand through her hair. “You are so beautiful, my servant.”

“You are incomparable, ma vhenan’ara,” she whispered back.

His thumb gently pushed her hair away from her forehead. “Tell me what it is you want, Vhenan.”

She swallowed, her gaze almost unfocused, she was so overwhelmed. “Your cock. Please.”

He kept his eyes on her face as he undid the stays on his breeches, pushing them down until they dropped to the floor and he nudged them to the side.

Her eyes looked upon him with delight, as though she’d never seen him before. Her gaze was filled with a longing that tugged at his heart, and inflamed him in ways he had foolishly wished he could forget.

“Stroke me,” he ordered.

She opened her mouth and moved toward him.

“No,” he interrupted. “Without using your mouth.”

She nodded, her gaze heavy on his arousal. With her wrists restrained and ordered to kneel, she made do with her face. She lovingly rubbed her cheek down the side of his cock, a glistening smear of his precum highlighting her cheekbone. The heat of her breath was blistering, and when she made a happy noise of contentment his cock twitched against her skin.

One hand curled into a fist at his side, watching her apply her face to his cock with enthusiasm. He must find his patience. He must give her everything it was in his capacity to give, make her feel everything she wanted, leave her with no doubt that she was special, precious to him. He must show restraint for the both of them.

And yet he felt himself buckling under the combined weight of their desire. It would be so easy to tip her onto her back and fuck her into oblivion right there on the floor.

He swallowed, pushing her head back. “Ma vhenan.”

She smiled at him, a streak of sticky liquid on one cheek reflecting the lantern light. “Emma sa’lath.”

He pulled her hair into his hand at the roots, forming a firm but gentle fist.

“Wet your lips and open your mouth.”

His pulse thrummed as her face grew excited.

“Yes,” she breathed, and did as she was told.

She had always loved this, had always told him so amidst a flurry of self-conscious giggles, and the memory of her blushing admissions made him gentle as he pushed the head of his cock through her lips and onto her waiting tongue.

Wet, firm, hot, she enclosed him, a happy, wanting sound in the back of her throat. He pushed forward, and the sensation of her tongue pressing on the underside of his cock sent shocks of desire throughout him, screaming that he should thrust until he filled her mouth with the taste of his cum.

Restraint.

He looked at her face as he pulled back, her eyes closed in bliss and her lips determinedly wrapped around him, tightening her cheeks to suck him all the harder. He shuddered.

To hell with restraint.

He held her in place by her hair and shoved himself between her lips, pulling her deeper onto him with each thrust. Moans emanated from deep in her throat until his cock pushed deep enough to interrupt them, her throat swallowing around him as she had always delighted in doing. He fucked her mouth, and she vocalized her approval with every breath.

The hot, tight grasp of her mouth was dangerous, pushing him too fast too quickly, the warmth proliferating in his body, tightening his balls. He could not bring himself to stop, and a small moan escaped his lips.

She shuddered under his hand, her hair pulling at his grasp. He froze, inclining his head to watch her. She moaned onto his cock, her lips still firmly around him. Her body trembled in surging crests, one after another, the shine of her arousal visible on her thighs.

Drawing on whatever self-discipline he had left, he gently pulled his hips back to pull himself out of her mouth. Her tongue reached after him, swiping the underside of his sensitive head as he withdrew, and he swallowed.

He relaxed his grasp on her hair, taking her face in both hands with wonder as he knelt to look her in the eye.

“Vhenan, did you just come?”

She bit her lip and nodded, then looked away as she flushed. What a remarkable partner she was.

He smiled at her, gentle with fondness, and let his hands drop. “Ah, but you did not have permission, did you?”

She shook her head.

He turned her face back to him. “Then you will need discipline, will you not?”

Her eyes glistened as she looked at him, a commingling of hope and fear.

His heart pounded that she should trust him so.

“Stand up, ma vhenan. I’m taking you to bed.”

Her lips quirked in a half-suppressed smile at that. He took her by the back of the neck and guided her there, allowing her to climb on the soft pallet with her knees.

“Bend over.”

She bent at the waist, her face resting on the same level as her knees, her wrists still joined behind her back.

His cock throbbed as his hand massaged the round firmness of her ass, tight from activity and slippery with her arousal. The lips of her cunt were pink with need, and he smiled to see her thusly.

He drew his hand back, and she flinched.

“I’ve not yet even started, Vhenan,” he taunted.

“I just, I—”

The swat came down hard and sudden, and she jumped.

“But I’d not planned to punish you this way,” he continued, bringing his hand down hard again, her bum trembling at the strike. The outline of his hand remained, and she quivered at the sensation, his cock aching at the sight of her.

“You enjoy it too much,” he explained, allowing one knuckle to tantalize the cleft of her swollen lips. She pushed herself back onto him, and he swatted her again, a second handprint to match the first. She cried out, shifting her hips side to side.

“Don’t you?” he asked.

“Y-yes,” she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.

“Instead, we shall play a game,” Solas said, positioning himself behind her. “I will ask you a question, and when you answer me truthfully, I will push my cock further into you. When you lie, I will withdraw. And if you behave very well, I will pleasure myself with your cunt.”

He held the tip of his cock against her swollen lips, and she whimpered.

“Did you make yourself come five times before you arrived here?”

Silence.

He swatted her, and she whined. “N-no.”

With one smooth motion, he slid the head inside her, and she contracted around him agreeably, sighing.

“How many times, then?”

“E-eight.”

A little further. By the void she was tight, as hot and slick as he’d recalled, her embarrassed answers goading him.

“Why did you lie?”

“It’s embarrassing.”

Deeper. Hot, so hot, gripping him.

“Why?”

“I didn’t want to tell you about it.”

He withdrew an inch.

“That’s not a lie!”

He swatted her ass, and she squeezed around him, pleasure radiating down his shaft.

She swallowed. “Because I could have held off, could have succumbed less, and didn’t.”

He sank into her more, and she sighed contentedly.

“And why did you succumb so many times?”

“Because I…”

She hesitated. A swat. She tightened around him.

“Because I was thinking of you,” she admitted, her tears sinking into the mattress.

“There it is,” he said with satisfaction, taking her bound hands in his own and slowly beginning to fuck her in earnest. She pushed back against him as he sheathed himself inside her.

“And why, Vhenan, would that embarrass you?”

“You… I thought you didn’t want me. I felt pathetic,” she gasped.

“And why would you fantasize about someone who you believed did not want you?”

“Because I love you, and…”

He thrust faster and she groaned.

“And?”

“You feel so _fucking_ good!” she cried, burying her face in the mattress, her face flushing. “I’ve never come so hard in my life as when you’re fucking me, not even when I touch myself.”

A razor of tenderness split his heart, all his affection for her flooding his chest. That she should still desire him, that she should tell him so even when it embarrassed her; that she would grant him that intimacy even now, when he was taking his pleasure inside her. He blinked back tears at how exceptional she was. He was not worthy of her.

His cock throbbed inside her, dizzying heat pressing in and around him.

“And do you believe I want you now?”

“Yes,” she whimpered.

“Very much, ma vhenan,” he agreed, and slammed himself into her with all the alacrity of the searing heat running through him.

Her back arched as he held her hands, and she moaned into his bed.

“Oh _Fen’Harel_ , it’s too much, it’s too _much,”_ she gasped, her voice breaking.

“You know how to make me stop, Vhenan.”

She groaned with ecstatic frustration, her cries muffled.

“But you do not want me to stop,” he said, breathing hard. “You want to see how hard I can make you come for me.”

“Yes,” she gasped. “Yes!”

And as though hitting a wall, he stopped, utterly still. She squirmed below him, her bound arms still held in place by his grip. She tipped her hips forward and back, desperate to move on his cock.

He tilted his head at the sight of her, memorizing the look of her struggle. He’d been right all those months ago, when the thought had first occurred to him. She was fascinating like this.

“I did say this was a punishment, did I not?”

She made a noise of angry craving, half incoherent, her bum writhing against him. She handled the denial well; he remembered an afternoon where their roles had been reversed, and in her position fire had flickered at his fingertips in frustration, an embarrassing loss of control. She had merely laughed, kissed the scar above his brow, and brought him to climax with her mouth.

He would not be so generous.

With some regret, he pulled himself out, his cock visibly slick with her desire.

He delicately undid the tie at her wrists. He gently massaged her there, restoring blood flow, before flipping her onto her back, orienting her to lay flat on the length of the bed.

Her face was flushed, one side darker than the other from where she’d been pressed against the mattress. He climbed onto the bed and lay beside her, tracing the edges of her blush. Breathless, she relaxed into his touch.

“So you cannot pleasure yourself as well as I can?” he asked smugly.

She tensed, meeting his eyes with her honest gaze. Vulnerable. Exposed. Just as he loved her to be.

He followed her jawline with the back of his knuckles, gentle. “And you think of me when you touch yourself, even still?”

She held perfectly still, as though she were a halla, staring at him with flushed intensity.

“The thought of me pleases you so?”

She swallowed, and whispered. “Yes.”

He leaned in, holding her face with one hand, and kissed her. His lips burned as they met hers, so charmed was he by her pliant response, leaning into his affection.

When he pulled his head back, he considered her.

“Show me, Vhenan. Show me how you touch yourself when you think of me.”

Her hands began to move, but then she hesitated.

“Close your eyes and pretend I am not here, if you must.” He narrowed his eyes ever so slightly. “But you must show me, Vhenan.”

“I… I will.” She closed her eyes, and her hands began to run down her body, and up, and down again.

He smiled to watch her feel herself. If he had a body like hers, he’d be turned on by his own shape as well.

Slowly, her hands settled on her breasts, squeezing, teasing, tugging at the hard peaks there.

“You would be indulgent,” he murmured, watching her. “Others might stroke between their legs at the first opportunity, but not you; you love the tantalizing, the waiting. You would inflict that little agony on yourself.”

“Solas,” she murmured in response, her pulse beating in her neck.

“What do you imagine, Vhenan?”

“I… like to imagine that you would stroke yourself watching me,” she whispered.

“Then open your eyes,” he prompted, and her gaze fell on his cock, watching his hand slowly grasping at his length.

Her breath caught, and one hand immediately went to her clit, rubbing feverishly.

“You are the most desirable person I have ever seen in my life,” he told her honestly.

Her tongue traced her lips, and she glanced at his face.

“Stroke yourself slower,” he advised. “I want to watch you drive yourself mad.”

She complied with a needy sigh, and spread her legs wide, laying one over his thigh. Her other hand, the one marked by his orb, slid lower. She pushed a finger between her folds, and stroked at her cunt as she worked her clit, both hands moving together in concert. She worried her bottom lip between her teeth, watching his busy hand.

Heat bunched at the base of his cock. “Is this how you touched yourself tonight when you woke?” He asked.

She nodded, closing her eyes. “Every night that I’m alone, I… just like this,” she whispered.

“And you think of me watching you?”

“Or… or licking me,” she turned her head away.

She never would have been embarrassed to admit as much when they were together. His previous rejection must hang heavily on her mind, for her to feel so humiliated telling him she wanted him to taste her.

Perhaps he could be a little generous.

It was easy, with her legs so open, to readjust, to slide between them, gently moving her hands out of the way.

“Solas, what are you—”

“Lie back and close your eyes, ma vhenan.”

He did not wait to see if she complied, plunging his tongue between her folds. He nearly groaned at the taste of her, the warmth, her wetness, the way she opened herself even wider to allow him access. One of his hands worked to assuage the throbbing insistence in his cock, darts of pleasure planting themselves in his groin as he applied his tongue to her clit and his hand to himself.

Her thighs trembled on either side of his head, causing a rumble of amusement in the back of his throat as he used his other hand to part her lips, his tongue swirling around and around her clit. He could hear her hands fisting in the bedsheets, feel her hips jerking underneath him as he varied his speed. Reluctantly, he removed his hand from his cock, his fingers seeking her cunt, stroking inside her in lazy circles, just the way she had always told him made her cunt feel full.

Her moans changed, and he pulled his head back, his jaw slick with her wetness.

“You are not to come without permission,” he reminded her.

“Please, _please,”_ she gasped, bumping her clit against his jawline.

He smiled at her, one thumb swiping her clit to make her jump again. “No. And if you do, I will punish you.”

“No, please,” she insisted. “I can’t—”

He ignored her and resumed, his tongue swiftly flicking over her clit. He pushed another finger inside her, and then another, stroking slowly as her gasps grew more desperate.

“I'll obey my heart and I won’t come,” she murmured, her hips spasming, her hands grasping her face. “I won’t, I won't!”

Arguing with herself had always been an adorable trait of hers, one that softened his heart even as his cock twitched, impressed with her determination.

Futile, of course.

He settled his lips around her clit, and sucked.

Her orgasm was instant, her crotch grinding against his face as her cunt rippled around his fingers. She rode his mouth, pressing herself into him even as her body seemed to vibrate, her legs shivering on either side of his head. He felt the shockwaves in his own body, his balls tightening with the hovering threat of coming himself, the head of his cock sticky with beading anticipation.

She went limp, and he pulled his head back. She met his eyes.

“I know I wasn’t supposed to, but I’d do it again.”

He nearly laughed. She was rarely so blunt, but always to good effect.

“Insolence will only make your punishment worse,” he promised, not quite keeping the smile from his face.

She pulled her knees together as he stood, arranging himself on the bed beside her. The magic was still in effect; a climax that should have sated her only left her rubbing her legs together in anticipation.

One of his hands cradled her head as the other drifted lower, searching.

“Open your legs, Vhenan.”

She did as she was bade, and he lightly dragged his fingertips over her clit. Her wetness was everywhere, further coating his fingertips from the barest touch. She shivered.

“Such a wanton little thing, aren’t you?”

“Y… yes—”

He slapped her lower lips, stinging on her cunt. She moaned.

“Did that hurt?”

“Yes.”

“Good,” he replied, and slapped her again.

She cried out, her eyes squeezed shut, and she trembled; her legs twitched with the effort of keeping them open. He stroked her clit and she sighed, relaxing.

“But you enjoy my touch so much, you’d let me slap your cunt as much as I wished,” he said.

She turned her head away. He brought his hand up and turned it back, the slickness of her arousal now pressed against her jawline.

“Look at me,” he ordered.

She opened her eyes, and his heart caught. So vibrant, so beautiful; so honest.

“Wouldn’t you?” He whispered.

“Yes. As… as much as you want.”

“Good.” He replied, and held her gaze with his own as his hand lowered.

“Solas…” she whispered.

He smiled at her, tenderly, and slapped her cunt again. And again. And again.

Each time, he struck her a little faster. Each time, she flinched but kept her eyes on his. They began to film with tears from the stinging pain, but so too did she begin to moan deep in her throat, each successive strike making her voice break, until his hand was hitting her so rapidly it blurred into a single sensation for them both. Her hips began to twist, struggling to remain still, and the head of his cock swelled in appreciation at the sight.

Needy sounds strung together in her throat. “May I come?”

“No.”

She moaned in earnest.

“Please?”

“No.” He struck her harder, and she whimpered.

“Please, ma vhenan, I need to come!”

“Begging to come during your punishment,” he smiled at her with hooded eyes. “I adore your depravity, Vhenan.”

She bit her lip, shaking her head.

“Oh? Then you’re not my filthy servant, enjoying her punishment? Should I stop?”

“No!”

“Doesn’t it hurt? Don’t you want my mercy?”

His hand slowed.

“No, no! Please,” she pleaded.

“Please what?”

“Please…”

His hand stopped, and her body wriggled in protest.

“Please what?”

“Solas…”

His voice was implacable, demanding. “Please what, Vhenan?”

“Please… please hit my pussy.”

He gently kissed her forehead. “Do you want me to?”

“Yes,” she gasped. “I came when I wasn’t supposed to. I want your punishment.” She nuzzled his chin with her cheek, warmth and tenderness. “I want to show you how good I can be for you.”

His heart swelled inside him, struggling to free itself of his rib cage and go to her.

He pulled his head back, smiling at her gently. “Keep your eyes on mine, Vhenan.”

“Yes, sir,” she replied, a little smile curving her lips.

Heat surged in his groin, and he nearly groaned as his heart melted. She was perfect.

He resumed hitting her cunt with no warning and no build, slapping her heat rapidly and hard.

“Ma serannas,” she gasped as her hips bucked, and sweet, loving heat thundered inside him.

“My pleasure,” he assured her. His eyes drifted down her body, watching her writhe, blazing need growing tight in his cock. She was art.

When he returned his gaze to her face, her eyes were exactly as he’d ordered, locked on him. She held his eyes with her own, open and pleading.

“Solas,” she whimpered, her voice wavering under the stimulation.

“Vhenan,” he replied warmly, enjoying the wet sound of his strikes.

“I’d let you touch me any way you wanted if it meant you kept touching me,” she whispered.

His throat suddenly thick, the hand behind her head fisted in her hair, and she moaned. His lower hand began rubbing her clit as fast as his wrist would allow, and her moans wavered almost musically.

Still, their eyes held one another.

“In another world, Vhenan, I would touch you and touch you until you begged me to stop,” he promised.

She nearly screamed her response, her head tilting back against his fist. “Th-then you’d touch me forever!”

His stroking hand reached a fever pitch, the center of her pleasure scorching under his touch. He issued his demand.

“Come for me!”

He covered her mouth with his own as she complied, her moaning into his mouth as she trembled underneath him, each wave more violent than the last. He drew the taste of her moans from her tongue and savored them, his hand mercilessly pushing her into another climax, and then another, until her body was thrashing under his hand and the crest of her hip bone rubbed against his too-erect cock, touching off another wave of heat inside him that nearly wiped all thought from his mind.

He allowed his hand to slow, his wrist finally growing tired, and she relaxed, the last vestiges of her orgasms fading. She took a deep breath and folded her arms around his neck, pulling him close.

“Ma serannas, ma vhenan,” she murmured dreamily, gently rubbing her face against his, sticky with sweat and the remains of her arousal where he had applied it earlier. “Thank you, sir, for letting me come five… six times there? I lost track.”

He laughed against her cheek, and turned his lips to her, kissing her cheekbone, her temple. “You were perfect, ma vhenan. It is easy to pleasure someone who is so eager to please.”

It felt the same as it had, as though he’d never broken them apart, as though they’d laid together every night in between. All at once the game fell away, and without thinking, without even noticing, he moved to lay atop her, kissing every inch of her face as she giggled at his absurd affection, all warmth and tenderness and adoration. She had pulled her legs up and he’d settled between them; she gasped as he slid inside her, so easily as if he were meant to be there. Always desperate for her, his aching cock was gratified by the way she pulsed around him. She felt like wet silk, massaging him and enveloping his desires in her own.

He gathered her in his arms and her ankles locked behind his buttocks; he rocked slowly, enjoying every inch of her, pressed against him as though adhered. Their lips fell together in the old pattern, the kisses that tied his tongue and twisted his heart around everything that she was, filling his head with her name and nothing else.

He pulled back for a breath, and she kissed his neck, affectionate, playful, nipping at the sensitive skin where his neck met his shoulder.

“I have a confession, Vhenan,” he said quietly.

“Mhm,” she replied, her lips still applied to his neck.

“I dream of you still,” he flushed to admit it, though he knew she was the same. “I was dreaming of you tonight before you arrived, and… pleasuring myself, to the thought of you.”

She pulled her head back, her eyelids heavy as she examined him. “Did you cause my dream?”

“Not intentionally,” he said. “But, I think perhaps, yes.”

“I’m glad,” she said, and his eyes stung.

She tightened around his length, and he let out a harsh breath, his cock surging in response.

“No one has ever made me feel so good as you do,” he breathed, and she grinned, mischief in her eyes.

“I know.”

He laughed, and then swallowed, slowly rocking against her body, his arousal spiralling into her, her eyelids fluttering a little.

“No one could ever hold my heart as you do,” he said, holding her face. “ _Ar ma vhenan._ You _are_ my heart. I am not complete without you.”

“Give me you,” she whispered, desperately. “Right now, give me everything you are.”

He kissed her, and kissed her, the taste of her arousal still on his lips, the evidence of his arousal dried on her cheek, buried inside her the same way he wished he could bury himself in her heart. She returned his affection with thrice the ardor, overflowing with passion as she shifted her hips underneath him, enjoying him, their pace languid and intense. Every thrust, he savored every inch of her perfect cunt, hot and wet and tight, no less sensitive for a night of stimulation.

Heat built inside him, through him, permeating parts inside him he’d thought dead or missing. The joy he felt at her closeness was no different than the arousal he felt at her hands clinging to his back, or his pleasure at the tightness with which her cunt gripped him. It brought to life every old pain that he’d ever carried, and then cast it aside, for what was a life of mistakes beside the love of his vhenan, who commanded armies and submitted to desire with equal competence? He was hers. She could break him with a word if she chose, but she offered him her heart instead, over and over.

How good it felt, to be so weak to another person, to trust her and love her and let her make him whole.

Her climax came first, shuddering as he murmured to her in Elven; every promise he knew he couldn’t keep slipped from his lips in a language he knew she didn’t fully understand. Her nails dug into him, scoring his back and drawing blood, tears leaking from the sides of her eyes at the intensity.

The look on her face, the way she held his eyes; he was entranced, his cock hot and sensitive as she tightened around him. “Ar lath ma, Solas, ma vhenan,” she said through her hitching breaths.

He hadn’t expected it to tip him over but it did, his heart thrumming as he snapped his hips. The electrifying sensation pulled back as though a withdrawing tide, and then crashed over him all at once, a wave that drowned him in the kind of ecstasy he only ever found with her, his body something beyond himself. He emptied himself inside her, filling her with heat, flooding her with the searing, agonizing pleasure of loving her.

_“Ar lath ma, vhenan, emma sa’lath, ma Orari.” ___

____

___I love you, my heart, my only love, my Orari._ _ _

Whether it was the sound of her name, which he said so seldom, or that she felt his throbbing inside her, she came again, a final time. Her body tensed and she shuddered, her fingertips digging into his scalp as she gasped his name in his ear, whispering to him in the elven tongue.

_“Solas, my love. I wish you would never leave.”_

They lay together for some time, grasping one another, their limbs entwined as though woven together on a loom.

Neither was willing to acknowledge it was over.

Finally, he swallowed.

“Is that… has the need left you?”

She sighed. “Yes. Thank you.”

“You are welcome.”

Now sated, he was soft and slipped out of her easily.

He pulled his head back, and traced the lines of her face with one tender hand, beginning to massage her neck, light healing magic playing at his fingertips. She leaned into his touch, her lips curving upward.

“Are you well, otherwise?”

She stretched her neck, experimentally.

“I think… I’m a bit raw, after all that.”

Wordlessly, he placed his hand at the junction of her thighs, his magic healing the irritation.

“Thank you,” she sighed contentedly.

He fetched her a glass of water, insisting she finish it before she stand.

“The Inquisitor getting dizzy on the way back to her room is of benefit to no one,” he advised.

“Back… to my room,” she said as she sat up, sipping the water thoughtfully.

“Unless you intend to remain here.”

Her eyes rested a moment on the remnants of her smalls, cast carelessly aside on the floor. Then she looked at him.

“If I did, would you hold me?” she asked.

Her eyes hurt him.

“I want to,” he said thickly.

“But you won’t,” she guessed.

“No.” He shook his head.

Her jaw tightened. She stood.

“How late is it?" She asked. "I need to get back to my chambers before Josie arrives with the morning report.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Josephine visits you in the mornings now?”

“I think she worries about me waking up alone since… well.”

“Ah.” He swallowed.

Silence.

“I’ll escort you back to your chamber,” he said. “I have a set of clothes here you may wear; they ought to fit you.”

She frowned. “Why do you have clothes in my size?”

“It is wise to be prepared for unforeseen circumstances. The Inquisitor arriving in my chamber in only her robe and small clothes, for example.”

“Planning for that one, were you?”

He smiled. “Not exactly.”

“I can wear my robe. I’ve not been gone from the Dalish forests so long that I have forgotten how to make myself unseen in shadows. But, Solas…”

She waited until he turned to her, eyes questioning.

“You are my heart,” she murmured, echoing him. “Don’t leave a hole in my chest.”

Pain, slicing clean through him.

“I won’t,” he replied. “Not yet.”

She nodded, processing this. “And once we stop Corypheus?”

“We will see.”

She swallowed, setting her jaw. “Very well. I’ll forgo the escort, thank you, I can find my own way.”

She stood, donning her robe, impressing Solas as always with her assertiveness, her command of the situation, even as he privately wished he could beg her to let him attend her.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, after I meet with Leliana. We’re planning an expedition to recover artifacts in the Arbor Wilds, I’ll need your input.”

“Of course,” he murmured.

She stopped at the door, and turned around. In three short steps she stood before him, holding his face, her eyes weighing heavily on him.

_“Ma serannas, emma sa’lath.”_

_Thank you, my only love._

Something cracked inside him.

He placed one hand on one of her wrists, a quiet, distant affection. “My door is always open, should you require my skills or my counsel.”

She stepped back, her hands dropping. “Of course.”

She bid him goodnight and left, slipping through his chamber door discreetly.

He suppressed the impulse to follow her. It was better she go without him.

Leaving him to figure out how he was going to live without her.


End file.
